Mind the Gap
This is far from a positive thinking post, mainly because as I said on previous entries, I don’t practise positive thinking. Certainly, it is not one of those “5-steps-to-happiness-click-here” BS you can find on social media.
This is a post filled with frustration and a human response to stress. Above all, it is a call for sharing one’s humanity. The gap, the lack, the fear, the self-doubt. We all have it, we all feel it, we just don’t talk about it.
At times it may seem we lack of more than what we have. Or we will ever have. Time, friends, good lovers, money, a pay rise, a promotion, control, holidays… did I say time?
Yet, I keep hearing people saying: “I don’t believe/need therapy/coaches/support groups or anything remotely spiritual”. As if we had all the answers with us on how to live well. Certainly, we do have an intrinsic power and intuition that has been there since the day we were born, but that gets battered and mangled throughout the years and loses its sharp light.
When we snap out for no reason, when we push our way in when we drive. When we turn our back to our partners, when we speak about our colleagues behind their back, when we procrastinate, when we drink excessively, when we don’t call back or ignore people.
That’s when the gap gets bigger, the space between us and our true purpose. On each and everyone of those events, we step away from connection, from balance and harmony. From the beauty of the simple things.
We tend to fantasise and daydream to disconnect from reality, because life really sucks and, in the meantime, our delirious self creates a 10-ep soap opera whilst we brush our teeth: “I need a drink. I don’t care what she thinks, because she’s wrong anyway. You voted for Brexit, so fuck you”. And we go through our day believing those behaviours and thoughts are totally OK and that have no effect whatsoever in how life presents itself to us.
Yes, some moments can be hard, sad, awful, lonely, you name it, it can be those things, and worse, all at the same time. Because when our vibrations get all messed up, even a stray dog will piss on our parade.
But this entry isn’t about the difficult times, it is about encouraging some self-reflection, it is about looking in the mirror of your actions and thoughts and seeing them for what they truly are.
What’s the key, where are the “5 easy steps” to get that badness out of the way and make it all great again?
First, it was never all that great before, that’s another crazy perception that the past time was better. No sir, it’s not the past you want back, it is the illusion of what was, the youth, the rhythm of the city that gets too much, the familiarity, the safety of the comfort zone. When we feel we don’t belong to our reality, we show resistance to the most basic principle of nature: movement.
There are no easy steps, how-to, manuals or guides for dummies, so whoever made you believe or has promised you that chalice, is a blatant liar.
Self-assessment is a decision, there are books, podcasts, experts, rescue remedy, online counselling, all sorts of vehicles to help you make that gap smaller. No one goes at it alone, there must be a tribe around you, directly or indirectly, that will expose options for you. The movement starts within, and the possibilities are limitless.
The one thing you need is hope, because hope is the killer of all angst.