A campaign against New Years Resolutions
I don’t believe in Positive Thinking any less than I believe in the archaic power of New Years Resolutions. I do practice visualisation and intention setting, but writing a list on NYE when I am intoxicated with prosecco and promise myself I’ll stop doing this and start doing that, has absolutely no value to me at all.
We all have our own techniques to stop smoking, finding a new job, start a diet or get out there and date. I mean, if you have conquered your 2017 Resolutions, stuck to them all and achieved what you wrote, you are a true hero to me. Please email me and tell me how you did it.
I believe giving that list some context is crucial to appreciate the value of what you want. To start, I suggest asking yourself: Why do I want this? Where does the desire to achieve this come from? Once you get the answers to those two questions you will be able to identify if those wishes are inherited, copied or authentic to you. Subsequently, you can truly make a conscious decision that those things matter to you to a point you’re willing to make changes in your daily life. Yeap… every single day!
To me, the basic difficulty we all face when we set NYRs without proper insight and analysis, is that these resolutions tend to be very broad or numerically driven: “I want a better paid job” or “I want to lose 10 kilos”. The angle we take is very important too. Start from a place of abundance and gratitude, not of lack, show appreciation for that job you do have and for those extra pounds, as they may be a reflection of you becoming a mother or all that food and wine shared with friends. Cut yourself some slack, please.
Ultimately, this is for you, it’s up to you what you decide to include in it.
I have prepared a map of how I want to live and celebrate 2018, rather than a list of resolutions, I have divided it in three circles:
What I’m gifting to myself
One of these a day is enough: Breathing deeply, meditating, exercise, insightful thinking, yoga, self-hugs, hold my heart, journaling.
Growing my businesses and coaching practice: read, write, reach out, being creative, doing some research, PR or social media.
Say my loving-kindness affirmations: “I love and accept myself just as I am” or the Serenity prayer if the day gets a little sticky.
What I’m gifting to you
I started practising this approach a few weeks ago and I want to continue using it all throughout 2018. It has come up very handy when I am having deep and meaningful chats with my friends or when we talk about politics. But it has also worked when I’m losing my patience with others, or when I want to have the last word. It is a set of thoughts and phrases I repeat in silence:
I remember what matters to you.
I respect your opinion.
Mary, stay silent and listen (yes, I do talk to myself in third person if I need to)
I gift you my time and love unconditionally.
And my all-time favourite:
I love and accept you just as you are.
What I am grateful to receive
These are the gifts from the Universe I’m happy to receive: a tribe, creativity, business opportunities, healing, love and time. It is very important to see when any of these come my way and that I use them wisely. To open when they knock on my door or to go outside and appreciate when they walk by me.
As you can see these aren’t goals, but a lifestyle driven by my values. There are broad but specific enough, so I can see results. And if you analyse each one of them, they have a deeper and long-term purpose. I can spend a day writing a long to-do list, and it’s not that I don’t want a 4x4, a house by the beach, more clients to coach and a dog, don’t get me wrong… I want those things and more, trust me, I visualise all that EVERY NIGHT when I’m daydreaming. Yet, I want to start and finish 2018 with a bigger plan, something wholesome, doable, reachable and that will allow me to be kind to myself.
This map is already guiding me to having a good day every day, and that is how I make a whole year worth it. It is very clear to me how I want to be, live, love, coach and behave, so I design my map and I'm gifting this idea to you.
May 2018 bring you Love and Light, the rest... you can find, sort and make happen.