What Is Actually Boring
Admittedly, this post is 5 days delayed. My friends, "my other life" got in the way, it was imperative to wrap the latest film I was working on before Tuesday! Now that that is done, and that I am in my element in Nicaragua, it is time to share my thoughts about the word "boring" and my quest to open up to new friendships.
Boring is one of those words I have consciously decided to stop using altogether. To me it represents a little bit of judgment, with some added personal POW and a pinch of slightly lazy way to say: "I don't like/care about this or that".
Remembering what Brené Brown and Poppy Sprague are trying to encourage, like some other very interesting researchers, coaches and therapists out there, that small talk is a socially accepted way to hide and, that in order to connect, sometimes we have to listen and ask more fundamental questions. Being aware of why we feel like using the B word, is essential to understand the script of "I don't care" part 1. I truly believe we've overused it. And I had enough of hiding.
Moreover, we use it to silence others and, indirectly, to make them feel out of place. Which, at the end of the day, is nothing more than our own way to reflect self worth.
Calling another person or situation B is the quickest way to brush them/it off.
Now, what does the B word and finding new friends have to do with this post? DO NOT BE MISTAKEN, I am by no means saying all chats have always to be deep and meaningful, not at all. I am a practitioner of silliness, dance, joy, banter and storytelling.
What I have started doing is to chose, find and engage more people I can have deeper connections with. Hence, withdrawing the B word and getting out there to meet humans that are seeking for some encouraging chats. Trust me, that is a time consuming exercise, sometimes upsetting one yet worth it. Being vulnerable and open can sting at times when you perceive that you are in this journey alone. Guess what? You are not!
It is also, for me to learn who to chitchat with and who to listen to and be there for. Learning who my audience is, I guess. That has been a great lesson for me in the last 6 months. I don't have all the answers, I don't always listen, I don't always know when to keep it simple.
To override discouraging thoughts from popping up in the mind is another challenge. The most common one for me is: "Yo, babe, you are b**ing this people, they won't like you if you continue chatting!" The fear of not being accepted is still there.
Yet, for me being myself, no matter what, is the most important anchor in my life.
And that, my invisible friends, is the least boring quest and the one worth living by!