That guy on the Tube, AirbnB and rolling down the hill with scarcity


Yesterday was a day full of ‘coincidences’. I have been wishing for web designer, a supportive colleague and a chat with my mate D. All these happen in one day. 

I was on the tube on my way to a workshop, I was listening to a podcast called: “Airbnb: The Art of resilience”. As usual I was taking notes like a mad woman, and I was feeling very inspired by Joe Gebbia’s concept on rejection [an invitation to keep going]. He, with Brian Chesky & Nathan Blecharczyk, created the now $30billion online hospitality service, and listening to the amount of rejection and setbacks they went through to make their business happen, made me get a lot of perspective on how life coaching is the ultimate fuel I need. 

The doors opened, this guy, who I now realise spent his entire journey reading my notes, just tapped on my note book and gave me his business card and then got off the carriage alla Sliding Doors. He was a designer, half way through the about section I read this: “I believe that we are equal, we are brothers and sisters of each other, so let’s get together and make the world a better place”. He got me; this is the person I want to design my brand. 

At the seminar I met Celia, take-no-sh*t kind of woman, with a very sweet voice she said to me “I have been in practice for 30 years, before all this certification malarkey came to play, and I tell you, nothing will teach you more that being exposed to different currents of thinking and experience, and for what you just said, there are no schools out there that offer what you want”. I was relieved, the memory of my friend saying “well, Mary you’re not a life coach until you’ve certified” faded in the background. Ouch. 
And I tell you why, because the moment I started this journey I bumped into the cynical, the fearful, the don’t-trust-enoughs and rolled down the hill with scarcity and inflexibility. I even remember another friend saying: “well, you haven’t been sober since January; I know you had 2 glasses of wine the other day”. Ouch again, I wasn’t aware someone was keeping tallies. 

Practising sobriety to me is not being affected by alcohol; not drunk. I have being sober for 123 days, and I should probably tell you there have been three separate occasions between February and March when drank alcohol. Such sin comes to a total of three glasses of wine and two of cava. I am sorry if it comes to a disappointment, but something tells me that the value, effort and self awareness I have achieved by staying sober will not be tampered by those glasses I had. 

By the sweaty nights I spent afterwards, trust me; I won’t be repeating that in hurry. Wine makes me awfully hot. 

The most important values in my life are to show up with my whole heart, to help others and to be authentic. There have been occasions when my lack of filter had made my friends feel uncomfortable or hurt, and such situations have brought me right down into the pit of shame. So when Celia gave me her second meme I smiled broadly and felt a great sense of relief: “Mary, being direct is a gift, used it kindly”.  

I don’t think I have changed, I truly feel the real me is in charge now. And that’s why I wanted to see my old mate D, I felt there was so much unsaid between us. So when I walked into my local for a Cobra Zero and just like that, bang in the middle of the bar, besotted watching the Arsenal match, there was D holding a drink.  

He knows the scandalous/drunk/crazy Mary because we met at the peak of get smashed-get in trouble season. He has answered my calls when I have been on my knees crying because anxiety wouldn’t allow me to even get in the shower. 
We talked for three solid hours, and despite of my initial apprehension, he understood my curiosity, my positions, where my heart is at. I felt loved.  

Why are we able to trust a complete stranger to come into our home and sleep on our bed but we can’t have that same level of flexibility towards those we love? Moreover, how is it possible I’m still working out things about myself, yet some of my loved ones think they got me all worked out? D’s faced dropped when I said that, we both fell silent, because ultimately there’s no review button for that.  

This morning when I woke up I emailed Celia, the designer, updated my Airbnb profile and wrote this. There is trust in my heart, there’s time and love for anyone who is curious and open. I’m here with my words, with my login details and my willingness to share. I trust this path I’m building. I don’t expect people to drink the Kool-Aid. In fact, I don’t expect a good review at the end of your stay. I wish you love, because I don’t want to focus on the scarcity, when there’s so much beauty out there and when I know everything is possible.